/page/2

Promise.

He would have done things to me if my friends weren’t there.
I would have been violated.
That scares me, I was scared.
I may laugh, but I wanted to cry.
You heard about it, it didn’t even faze you.
You didn’t care at all.
I thought.. I thought after everything we went through, you’d give a damn. I thought you’d be angry enough to threaten him, to at least think, ‘That fucking ass!’
But no..
I’m worth that little to you.
You really must of despised me.
Next time this happens, I’ll just take it. I’ll let them do to me what I deserve. And you’ll be able to smile at me getting what I deserve, because I was such a nuisance to you.. Right?
I’m sorry I’m so horrible. I can’t look at myself in the mirror any more.
I don’t deserve happiness when I severed yours.
I promise I’ll take what I deserve with a sewn shut mouth.

Sleeping causes dreams, which are a reminder.
I don’t want to sleep any more.

High anxiety and not eating = a killer stomach ache and nearly passing out in public, coooool.

I don’t get it.

I’m starting to heal. Why is it such a struggle to eat? Why is it when I think about food, smell food, eat food, I’m ready to throw up..
I’ve already lost weight, and I’m skinny enough as it is..
I’ve almost developed an eating disorder before, I don’t want to actually get one when I’m finally going to get the help I need.

I just want to sit down and actually TALK to someone. About everything. About life. For hours.
But everyone runs off after a couple comments.
Is it not sad that I have to wish for people to talk to me?
I’m getting help, I’m going back to meds and counseling..
I know I’m a complete mess right now, but, it couldn’t hurt to give conversing with me a chance..

I now hate dreaming.
Realistic dreams is what persuaded me that everything was normal, fine.
I woke up smiling.
But it’s not normal, it’s not fine, and that sincere smile isn’t coming back for a while.
Life’s just cruel sometimes.

I guess it’s kinda funny, that I was right about no one really being there.
But, I’m not laughing.

How does one forget when everything’s a reminder.

How depressing is it when you realize no one really wants you around. They say they love you so much, then just, leave.. Not much hesitation.
Gets you wondering if you’re really worth anything, but I think I already know the answer.

Anonymous asked: ur bf is teh uglyzors

Actually, I’m the unattractive one in the relationship.
And I really hope you spelled it like that purposely..  e__e

Promise.

He would have done things to me if my friends weren’t there.
I would have been violated.
That scares me, I was scared.
I may laugh, but I wanted to cry.
You heard about it, it didn’t even faze you.
You didn’t care at all.
I thought.. I thought after everything we went through, you’d give a damn. I thought you’d be angry enough to threaten him, to at least think, ‘That fucking ass!’
But no..
I’m worth that little to you.
You really must of despised me.
Next time this happens, I’ll just take it. I’ll let them do to me what I deserve. And you’ll be able to smile at me getting what I deserve, because I was such a nuisance to you.. Right?
I’m sorry I’m so horrible. I can’t look at myself in the mirror any more.
I don’t deserve happiness when I severed yours.
I promise I’ll take what I deserve with a sewn shut mouth.

Sleeping causes dreams, which are a reminder.
I don’t want to sleep any more.

High anxiety and not eating = a killer stomach ache and nearly passing out in public, coooool.

I don’t get it.

I’m starting to heal. Why is it such a struggle to eat? Why is it when I think about food, smell food, eat food, I’m ready to throw up..
I’ve already lost weight, and I’m skinny enough as it is..
I’ve almost developed an eating disorder before, I don’t want to actually get one when I’m finally going to get the help I need.

I just want to sit down and actually TALK to someone. About everything. About life. For hours.
But everyone runs off after a couple comments.
Is it not sad that I have to wish for people to talk to me?
I’m getting help, I’m going back to meds and counseling..
I know I’m a complete mess right now, but, it couldn’t hurt to give conversing with me a chance..

I now hate dreaming.
Realistic dreams is what persuaded me that everything was normal, fine.
I woke up smiling.
But it’s not normal, it’s not fine, and that sincere smile isn’t coming back for a while.
Life’s just cruel sometimes.

I guess it’s kinda funny, that I was right about no one really being there.
But, I’m not laughing.

How does one forget when everything’s a reminder.

How depressing is it when you realize no one really wants you around. They say they love you so much, then just, leave.. Not much hesitation.
Gets you wondering if you’re really worth anything, but I think I already know the answer.

Anonymous asked: ur bf is teh uglyzors

Actually, I’m the unattractive one in the relationship.
And I really hope you spelled it like that purposely..  e__e

Promise.
I don’t get it.

About:

Female. Fifteen years of age. Black hair, lilac bangs that were once blue. Slim figure. Self conscious. Over emotional. Have been taken for four months. My life is a mess, and so am I. But I'm loved, so I'll get by.

Following: